The Passing of a Friend

I met Tom Dark at Ebertfest the same year I met Roger Ebert there.  Unlike Ebert, who I didn’t meet until the second day of the festival, I met Tom on the first day, between showings of Metropolis and Natural Selection.  At the time, I wasn’t sure I was going to seek him out, as he had been a bit of a dick lately on Twitter.  Convinced by a mutual friend that he was not like that in real life, I decided to approach him if I saw him.  Here is what happened:

During the intermission, I heard that Tom Dark was lurking around, and in fact I saw him on the way back from somewhere, talking to vanyc. When I went up to him, he said, “And who’s this?”

“Litdreamer,” I said, and stuck out my hand.

That caused Tom’s face to light up as he gave me a big bear hug and said, “Now we have someone to pick on,” and playfully shouldered me. Then he told me, “It was all in fun. I hope you know that. Thanks for being a good sport.”

Soft spoken, kind, like a big teddy bear. And as I walked away to head back to my seat, I found myself faced with the impossible task of trying to rectify the cursing curmudgeon on Twitter with the soft-spoken, sweet man I had just met. I guess the Internet does turn people into trolls.

Two years later, I still can’t think of a better way to describe him.  He was also intelligent, a good writer, an excellent storyteller, and a bit of a conspiracy theorist, which is usually when I would ignore him on Twitter.  He was a curmudgeon, but a likeable curmudgeon.  And after all the picking he had done on me before the festival, he wrote this about me on his blog, which I took as a high compliment:

Owing to the insolently slow progress of my own Secret Plan for Global Domination, I can afford to skewer the odd ego now and then – even relentlessly – without fear of consequences. “Careful who I may meet on the way back down”? Fiddlesticks.

Take, for example, Greg Salvatore, @litdreamer on Twitter. He’s here too. I’ve been waving my “VIP” pass gaily in his face and monkeyshining about the free food I get. He’s a good sport. Tip: whether you’re on the top or the bottom of the banana, don’t attack people you don’t think you’d love in other circumstances.

(And yes, he did wave his VIP pass in my face.  That bastard. ;-))

When Ebertfest ended, I still hadn’t gotten my photo taken with the man, and I had to head to the airport.  Luckily (and most things in my life have happened because of luck), he was right outside the theater, and I was able to get this wonderful photo with him, my last picture from Ebertfest:

6. My Nemesis, Tom DarkAlmost two hours ago, I discovered that my friend, Tom Dark, has died.  I have no details of how he died, or where, or when.  I can only assume it happened tonight.  Like with Ebert, I found out through Twitter.  It seems unfair that both men would die the same year, and yet oddly appropriate, since Tom came to “Internet fame” through him.

I have yet to go back to Ebertfest.  I was thinking I might go back next year if I don’t decide to visit my brother and his wife on the East Coast.  I will be turning 35 during the festival, and I can’t think of a better group of people to celebrate it with.  It just saddens me that two of the people I hoped would be there won’t be able to make it.

Rest in peace, you big teddy bear.  What I wouldn’t give to hear the conversations you’re having with Roger now.

UPDATE: A memorial fund has been established to cover funeral expenses for Tom.  Go to https://www.youcaring.com/TomDarkMemorial to contribute.  The link is also provided in two of the comments below.

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9 thoughts on “The Passing of a Friend”

  1. Tom was a very valued friend and respected “warrior” with our cause. We are all deeply saddened by this news that we received from his son last night.Again we had the highest regard for Tom, valued his friendship and were blessed with his warrior spirit. His wisdom was a gift that we will never forget . . . he will always live on in our memory.

    Ha’makom yenahem etkhem betokh she’ar avelei Tziyonvi’Yerushalayim

    The Write Agenda Staff

  2. Oh. Just read/saw this. Guess I won’t have a chance to talk with him about why there’s a statue of Frank Zappa in Vilnius, Lithuania!

    Tom was certainly a character.

    I don’t think Roger believed there was an afterlife. As for Tom, I don’t know, did he write about that?

    Sorry for the loss of your friend, Greg.

    PS…I think you should come to Ebertfest! 🙂

      1. I know…now!! Ha. and before you posted that link. Actually I looked it up after he asked me about it when he asked me if my last name was Lithuanian.

        Anyway. It’s sad when we get news of a friend who has died. I’d venture to say he had a good & interesting life. Indeed, R.I.P.

    1. Christina,
      I am so terribly sorry for your family’s loss.
      I was blessed with the good fortune of having Tom befriend me on twitter shortly after I joined; we became fast friends, enjoying, among other things, a snarkiness and a love of animals that would keep us on each other’s radar for the last several years. I even got a video tour of the ‘new house’ and land shortly after move-in; he was so pleased with it all.
      Tom was a dear love of mine, a great twitter-friend, and one of my biggest supporters as I was diagnosed with cancer, and subsequently underwent every method of treatment available. It was a result of the effects of that stupid disease that has kept me mostly offline for the last few months; leaving me to only recently find out about my lovely Tom’s sudden passing.
      Please, PLEASE let me know if there’s anything I can do, however minuscule, trivial, or impossible it may seem. If it’s anywhere within my realm of possibility, I’ll try to make it happen as quickly as I can.
      Also, if possible, I would like to have Catt’s mailing address so that I may send her a letter. My twitter handle is @RonnisTweets (so that you can make sure that I am who I’m claiming to be), & my e-mail is ronni.ebel@me.com
      I’ll end this the same way I used to end most of my conversations with Tom – Much love! Scritches for Sammy! XoXoX

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