An Author’s Daily Routine

First, my apologies for not posting in a while.  Life and writing have been too busy to do much on here, and one article that I had hoped to post months ago is taking longer than expected.  Hopefully, that post will be up next week.

I realize, however, that some of you may be curious as to what my daily routine looks like.  How do I balance writing with procrastination?  How can I write so much and yet still have time to search for porn?  What is the meaning of life?

To answer that last one: potatoes.  For the other two, I shall direct you to what constitutes a typical day for me.  This is, of course, my actual schedule, as opposed to an ideal one, which would include more writing and less searching for porn.  I mean music videos.

  • 8:00 – should be awake by now, but still sleeping
  • 9:00 – alarm goes off
  • 9:15 – second alarm goes off
  • 9:30 – wake up, turn off one alarm, hit snooze on the other
  • 9:35 – second alarm goes off again, turn off alarm
  • 9:35-10:35 – take a shower, eat breakfast, turn on computer
  • 10:35-10:45 – wait for computer to load everything
  • 10:45-11:00 – read and respond to email
  • 11:00 – look at clock, tell myself I have to start writing by 11:30
  • 11:00-11:30 – go on Facebook and Twitter, click random links on both
  • 11:30-12:00 – check email again
  • 12:00-12:30 – having run out of ways to waste time online, eat lunch
  • 12:30-12:45 – work on novel
  • 12:45-1:00 – remember another way to procrastinate online, do so
  • 1:00-1:30 – remember food I have to buy at the store, go buy food
  • 1:30-1:45 – check email again
  • 1:45 – see what’s happening on Twitter
  • 1:45-2:15 – click links on Twitter
  • 2:15 – realize I’m wasting too much time on Twitter, put on music and start writing
  • 2:30 – fall asleep to music
  • 2:45 – wake up, start writing again
  • 2:50 – fall back asleep
  • 3:00 – wake up, write for a half hour
  • 3:30 – tired of writing, so search for pornography
  • 3:45 – run antivirus software to rid computer of viruses obtained while looking at pornography
  • 4:00 – the viruses win
  • 4:15 – move operations to library computer, sitting next to a man who smells of diseased onions
  • 4:15-5:45 – unable to concentrate, due to smelly neighbor, I procrastinate for 90 minutes online, helped along by slow server speed
  • 6:00-6:15 – read
  • 6:30-7:00 – eat dinner
  • 7:00 – wish to procrastinate on computer, but remember that viruses have killed it, so watch anime, instead
  • 7:30 – watch a movie
  • 9:30-10:00 – talk to housemates about esoteric matters
  • 10:00 – borrow better antivirus software from housemate, rid computer of viruses
  • 10:15-11:45 – procrastinate online by compiling Christmas list of items I can’t afford to buy
  • 11:45-12:15 – get ready for bed
  • 12:30 – look at random videos on YouTube
  • 1:00 – turn out light
  • 1:01 – remember that I forgot to turn off my phone, so turn on light and turn off phone
  • 1:02 – lie back down on bed
  • 1:15 – headlights shine on my face through the blinds
  • 1:30 – fall asleep

And that’s a typical day in the life of an author.

4 thoughts on “An Author’s Daily Routine”

  1. I always knew there was a reason I loved potatoes.

    I actually have an intense (and possibly strange) interest in how other people spend their days, so I really liked this post. It actually sounds scarily like my life. Except replace Twitter with Tumblr. And replace porn with videos of Ant and Dec (because, despite the effect they have on my heart, is not quite the same thing. :P)

      1. WHAT. YOU MEAN YOU DON’T GET VIRUSES ON YOUR COMPUTER EVERY SINGLE DAY?! 😉

        (Sorry, it’s almost 2 AM and I find myself gratuitously using the caps lock key after midnight.)

        (And you have no idea how painfully aware I am the library isn’t open every day. Almost every Sunday I find myself moping that the library is closed.)

        (For some reason I can’t stop adding parenthesized notes to this.)

        (P.S. I forgot to say that I hope you’ve been well! I haven’t been on here in forever. I bet you’ve missed me. Especially after reading this annoying comment.)

      2. I’ve been busy myself, so I haven’t had much time to comment on or read other blog posts. I did notice, however, that you didn’t have many new posts up the last time I looked. Well, neither have I! 🙂

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