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First, my apologies for not posting in a while.  Life and writing have been too busy to do much on here, and one article that I had hoped to post months ago is taking longer than expected.  Hopefully, that post will be up next week.

I realize, however, that some of you may be curious as to what my daily routine looks like.  How do I balance writing with procrastination?  How can I write so much and yet still have time to search for porn?  What is the meaning of life?

To answer that last one: potatoes.  For the other two, I shall direct you to what constitutes a typical day for me.  This is, of course, my actual schedule, as opposed to an ideal one, which would include more writing and less searching for porn.  I mean music videos.

  • 8:00 – should be awake by now, but still sleeping
  • 9:00 – alarm goes off
  • 9:15 – second alarm goes off
  • 9:30 – wake up, turn off one alarm, hit snooze on the other
  • 9:35 – second alarm goes off again, turn off alarm
  • 9:35-10:35 – take a shower, eat breakfast, turn on computer
  • 10:35-10:45 – wait for computer to load everything
  • 10:45-11:00 – read and respond to email
  • 11:00 – look at clock, tell myself I have to start writing by 11:30
  • 11:00-11:30 – go on Facebook and Twitter, click random links on both
  • 11:30-12:00 – check email again
  • 12:00-12:30 – having run out of ways to waste time online, eat lunch
  • 12:30-12:45 – work on novel
  • 12:45-1:00 – remember another way to procrastinate online, do so
  • 1:00-1:30 – remember food I have to buy at the store, go buy food
  • 1:30-1:45 – check email again
  • 1:45 – see what’s happening on Twitter
  • 1:45-2:15 – click links on Twitter
  • 2:15 – realize I’m wasting too much time on Twitter, put on music and start writing
  • 2:30 – fall asleep to music
  • 2:45 – wake up, start writing again
  • 2:50 – fall back asleep
  • 3:00 – wake up, write for a half hour
  • 3:30 – tired of writing, so search for pornography
  • 3:45 – run antivirus software to rid computer of viruses obtained while looking at pornography
  • 4:00 – the viruses win
  • 4:15 – move operations to library computer, sitting next to a man who smells of diseased onions
  • 4:15-5:45 – unable to concentrate, due to smelly neighbor, I procrastinate for 90 minutes online, helped along by slow server speed
  • 6:00-6:15 – read
  • 6:30-7:00 – eat dinner
  • 7:00 – wish to procrastinate on computer, but remember that viruses have killed it, so watch anime, instead
  • 7:30 – watch a movie
  • 9:30-10:00 – talk to housemates about esoteric matters
  • 10:00 – borrow better antivirus software from housemate, rid computer of viruses
  • 10:15-11:45 – procrastinate online by compiling Christmas list of items I can’t afford to buy
  • 11:45-12:15 – get ready for bed
  • 12:30 – look at random videos on YouTube
  • 1:00 – turn out light
  • 1:01 – remember that I forgot to turn off my phone, so turn on light and turn off phone
  • 1:02 – lie back down on bed
  • 1:15 – headlights shine on my face through the blinds
  • 1:30 – fall asleep

And that’s a typical day in the life of an author.