At the end of 2010, I wrote a blog post emphasizing what to look forward to on my blog in the new year. I’m not going to do that this year. Instead, I will list some of my resolutions for 2012.
1.) Be kinder
Now, people who know me will say that I’m kind enough and, in fact, make all of them look bad. I say nonsense. While a college student, I used to offer my umbrella to people when it was raining. True, they were all beautiful blonde women instead of homeless men who mumble to themselves, but that is besides the point. The point is that, if I see someone getting drenched, I will be more proactive in offering my chivalrous rain deflector to them this year.
2.) Be more confident
This one I have been working on for years. Some things, like my obvious talent for writing, don’t need an ego boost. Others, like pretending I’m at peace with the universe, require more effort. This is why I had my mom buy me a Zen desk calendar, which emphasizes that it’s the same you from last year, so resolutions are pointless.
3.) Throw out full of shit Zen calendar
4.) Write more
This may be the one that gives me the most trouble, unless I say, “Fuck it!” and stop collecting money from unemployment, which would no longer necessitate my having to make three job contacts a week, which would then give me more time to write. Then again, I doubt my salary working at a movie theater, awesome as it is, will allow me to comfortably indulge in my practice of jetting off to some foreign location whenever I get sick of the banality of life. So, I guess the contacts are a necessity for my future financial success, in addition to my immediate sustainability. Plus, I’m pretty damn good at procrastinating when I have free time. Maybe I just need to suck it up and stick to a writing schedule.
5. Always do what I am afraid to do (to paraphrase Emerson)
This would involve, among other things, dating. The last time I had a proper date, I wasn’t living in Seattle. Nor the U.S. I’ve gone out, one-on-one, with women since then, but there was never an inkling on my part, or on theirs, of it being more than a friendly get-together. And no, you don’t want to know what my longest relationship has been. Let’s just say that Michael Fassbender’s character in Shame had better luck with relationships than I’ve had.
6. Live for adventure
Included in here is my attempt to travel to a friend’s wedding. In Japan. Where I will be the only non-Japanese person there. That way, I also get to fulfill resolution #5.
7. Be more committed to learning foreign languages
I know some French, some Japanese, and a little Chinese. This year, I plan to become more serious about the first two and study what I’ve been taught of the third. Once I get my own place, I also need to get serious about practicing my clarinet, which is currently sharing space with a bunch of other crap in my parents’ house.
8. Read more
Maybe this should say, “Read less online articles and more books.” I also want to take more advantage of the library in this regard, once I’ve gone through the myriad titles that I’ve bought and haven’t yet cracked open.
9. Get out more and do stuff with friends
I did well last year in getting out of the house, but I must do more of it this year, and find a way to balance it with more writing and reading. Also, I need to do more stuff with friends, which means I need to acquire more friends and guilt others into including me in their activities.
10. Finish my novel and (hopefully) get it published
Doable if I stick to #4, and with Amazon offering self-publishing services, the second part is doable, too, especially if writing query letters makes me want to kill small goats and sacrifice them to the typewriter god.
11. Acquire a new hobby
This might involve increasing the frequency of something I do little of now, like sketching, or it might involve doing something I’ve never thought of attempting, like hunting for Sasquatch.
12. Take care of myself physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally
I could do better on all of these aspects in 2012. Physically, I need to get away from my computer more and spend less time sitting. Mentally, I need to challenge my brain with more complex things to read, rather than weening it on scraps of knowledge. Spiritually, I need to find my center. Emotionally, I need to be able to feel my emotions, and those of others, acutely, while not letting my emotions control me.
13. Regain my childlike wonder of the world I live in
In other words, read more nonfiction about the world around me, be more observant in my daily interactions with the universe, and dare to dream more in my writings.
14. Write more blog entries, and more regularly
This kind of goes hand-in-hand with resolution #4, except that it’s specific to my blog, where long entries about movies I saw at a festival long forgotten prevented my posts from being more regularly posted at the end of last year.
15. Catch up on my diary entries
While my blog posts are stuck in one movie festival, my diary entries are stuck in the one before. Speaking of which, I have to catch up on labeling my photos, too.
16. Wake up and go to bed earlier
Possibly the most difficult item on my list to accomplish, since I’m a night owl and my new job at a movie theater is going to make it that much more difficult to go to bed early. Early morning appointments, such as tutoring and WorkSource related stuff, helps the waking up earlier part, but no such luck for the going to bed earlier part. For example, I’m writing this post right now instead of sleeping.
17. Become truly self-sufficient
Eventually, I hope to no longer need food stamps, unemployment checks, or money from Mom and Dad in order to survive out here in Seattle (though Mom and Dad are still welcome to send me money). Preferably, this will occur before the world ends on December 21st. Otherwise, I’ll be pissed.