Current mood: anxious
Well, what I should be doing is obvious; I should be using the Internet to look for a job. What I am doing is writing this blog.
We all have things that can calm us down when life’s stresses get to us. I remember buying pints of ice cream in London whenever I had a bad day there. And yes, testoterone was present at that time in my body. In Japan, I would go for a bike ride. Getting out of my room and seeing so many other people on (what usually was) a gorgeous day, either walking or riding bikes themselves, always helped me to feel better about myself. Of course, there was no substitute for hanging out with friends, but on my bike, I could ride to a nearby park and people-watch, write, or just ride my bike around some more. On one occasion, I even talked with a Japanese couple whose daughter (or son?) was going to school in America. They spoke English with me, though I can’t remember if I let on that I knew some Japanese or not with them. My speaking ability certainly wasn’t as good then as it is now, and even now, it could be better. I’ve managed to steadily improve my retention of things I learned (but didn’t always remember) for my level 3 test, though having no one to practice speaking with has been a challenge. As for writing and listening, I can write emails (and letters) to my friends in Japanese, and I have some Japanese movies and CDs (including the ones that I studied for the test) that I can listen to.
Listening to CDs, however, has to be done on my dad’s stereo, as mine has recently gone “kaput.” I began having problems with the CD player as soon as I got home from Japan three months ago, but now nothing works–no radio, no CDs, not even sound coming from my TV through my stereo. The speakers still work, but the amp that sends the sound through them does not.
I got off to a late start today, helped by my recent obsession with the show “Mindfreak.” It’s on A&E at 10 pm on Wednesday nights (and often repeats are shown at other times), but I’ve been watching the shows on ON DEMAND. So, instead of getting ready to face another boring day of the same old routine, I get up and watch one or two episodes of that show, putting me back about an hour. Getting up at 9 or 9:30 doesn’t help, either. I don’t think I need to go back to getting up at 5:30, like I did my last year in Japan, but getting up earlier would benefit me.
I see parallels between my job search and dating. In both cases, both I and the other party have to agree that I am what they are looking for and vice versa, the selection process is helped through friends (having an “in” for a job; knowing a girl for a date), and I’m not good at either. Concerning my job search, I don’t do well when trying to find something from my parents’ home, and I don’t do well unless my back is against the wall (there was a possibility that NOVA wasn’t going to renew my contract for a third year, which greatly helped me to find another job in a hurry online, taking only three weeks). Also, I respond better to challenges from without rather than those from within–at least when I’m at an emotional low or feeling emotionally blah. I’m also not as big of a risk taker as I should be. For example, I think that being a voice actor, in addition to writing, would be a kick ass career, but as there’s less even security acting than there is writing, I probably won’t ever sign up for classes.
I am traveling to Portland, OR in about three weeks to see 1.) if I have a better chance at finding a place to work in person than I do looking online, and 2.) to see what I think of the city. I’m hoping that, giving the opportunity to be out of the state, never mind out of my parents’ house, for a few days (though I really only have two days in Portland, due to flight times and durations) will create the sort of luck that always accompanies me when I find a job that I stick with for more than a season. Wish me luck.
It’s funny how appropriate this blog comment is even now, though I’m procrastinating much less now than I had been. It’s also interesting that I mention the parallels between dating and job hunting, which I expanded upon in this post.
September 11, 2008 – Thursday